i am just me

10:33 PM

i think i ate really alot today. just had 2 pieces of pizza,garlic bread and a cup of cocktail and i am really full now. wonder how i manage to eat n eat today. cos of my foul mood? nah. . i dun haf appeitite when my mood isnt good. if i really eat this much every day, i think i will turn really fat.

Mood of the day : Sad+++
Stress level : 92%++++
Amount of stuff studied today : zero 0!
Sadness: 85%
Happiness: 3%
Confusion: 60%
Tire-ness: 95%
Sian-ness : 99%
Craziness:100%

i am stuck.

i raise both hands up. i surrender. white flag.

1:15 AM

was doing stats 2 whole day. realised that i know so so lil about stats 2. learnt n understand quite abit today. thanks buddy for your help=) ! stats 2 is so tedious. my brain is so saturated now. my stats 2 isnt strong, but i think i shldnt continue doing stats... its time to get to macroeconomics.

its 1.20am now, should i sleep or do some econs? but the thought of econs make me sleepy.

yawn.seriously, i dont like economics. argh.

how weird can this be?
happy birthday to someone who dunno my blog =)

6:00 PM

i have alot to say but none will be mention here.

how about those things?

it was raining real heavily just now!

the heavy rain has just stopped. is it sunshine after rain?

the people love the sun,

the sun might be out now,but its not shining as brightly as it did just now.

the night is nearing. the sun is setting and the day is ending.

it turns dark. no lights to lead me ahead. it all stops here.

the day ends.

May tmr be a better day.

i'm tired.

**sorry santi about ytd.
**sorry adeline for not meeting you up today.
**sorry darling eunice n buddy for leaving u guys early.
**sorry dear for not going with you.

end of 'sorry' list for the day. haha.

i am so stress. my stats , maths, econs n pbf all cmi. tell me how can i get a good degree with my lousy self. )=

6:19 PM

i strongly recommend everyone to read the following blog :
http://datoufen.blogspot.com/

if you do listen to fm 93.3, you would understand what this blog is all about. 大头分的故事 is a replacement of the porgram 音乐日记 in yes 93.3. the blog is about the life of this 'person'. and she talks all about friendship, love n alot of other things. it is boardcast on the radio on certain timings on different days. i used to listen.. but missed it for quite some time le. happened to listen to it again today, still love it. do read from the start if u are really free. can improve ur chinese too! hahaha =)

anyway,each week passes so fasT! and exam is really near. well.. manage to pass all units(eh.. passing mark is only 35!~) except ECONS. i flunk terribly. HELP! mug mug mug~

i think i am getting lazy!after my badminton session last mon night... i seriously feel that i should exercise more! i miss exercising...but i m feeling lazy. how contradicting!

was looking through some photos. i really miss the crazy fun with my dear paradise gals!!the last time we gathered was on bao's bdae!miss all! =) haha...realise my mushroom MIA le...

chatted with paulus days ago too! sorry for not keeping you updated on my life! we try to meet up soon with su n santi k!!

okay. its 'econs-ing' time!

8:11 PM

终于做了这个决定
别人怎么说我不理
只要你也一样的肯定
我愿意天涯海角都随你去
我知道一切不容易
我的心一直温习说服自己
最怕你忽然说要放弃

爱真的需要勇气来面对流言蜚语
只要你一个眼神肯定
我的爱就有意义

我们都需要勇气去相信会在一起
人潮拥挤我能感觉你放在我手心里
你的真心

如果我的坚强任性会不小心伤害了你
你能不能温柔提醒
我虽然心太急
更害怕错过你

12:31 AM

Your Birthdate: January 22

You don't love lightly. For you, love is always a serious undertaking.
However, you are able to love many types of people. You can bring out the best in almost anyone.
Love surprises you often. You never know when or where you'll find it next.

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 4

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 5

You are most compatible with people born on the 4th, 13th, 22nd, and 31st of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

4 true love means? 4 guys who truely love me? or 4 true r/s? sad,my bf isnt any of the bdae above =(. lolx
ANYWAY!
the above better NOT BE TRUE.. cos it stated tt
NUMBER OF TIMES YOU'LL HAVE YOUR HEART BROKEN: 5
FIVE!!!!! i gone through one it was so terrible n tormenting!having bad memories haunting me still! for me to go through FOUR more!!?? take my life pls! haha!!

had econs lecture for the past 2 days. amos is a REALLY STRICT lecturer,n everyone is SO scared being called n questioned by him. guess everyone know tt he loves to call pple wearing bright colour tee shirts n thus,when i walked into the lecture hall, i see pple all wearing black! i was lucky ytd, the ones on my left, right n bck were called,NOT ME.. but i was suay today( cos i m wearing yellow!??n black ytd!). but i still thk amos is a good lecturer, n a joker too.i admire the way he got pple to be 'scared' of him, at least there is certain discipline in the lecture n can conc better.strict lecturers isnt tt bad aft all. n his words do motivate pple to study...but still... i think ECONS is GONE CASE! bye econs.. haha! =(

anyway went over ngee an poly for lunch today. think the food there is better n cheaper! we shld go there more!! =)

12:13 AM

new police story was on tv just now! it is such a NICE movie. really love it. still rmb i caught the movie few yrs bck at PS n bumped into Miss taY there! haha...so full of memories yeah! =)

anyway i seriously dun haf the weekend feeling for the past 2 days due to the on-going classes! but its okay.. my mood is pretty high these days. i m feeling happy =)!

this is wat happened when we got bored in lectures! childish.. yes.. but crazy~

attached with my SIM darling!!

drew by my SIM darling!haha...she is just too high aft taking her cough mixture!

darling's buddy dun jealous k!! hahaa
anyway do take care my fren's buddy!thk nxt few days shld be busy for u . i just went thru the same thing 2 weeks ago =).

class again tmr! back to study now den slp! nitez all!

1:43 PM

just back home not long. and again was half-drenched. haha!cos i haf no umbrella n the rain pour down out of no where and i couldnt find any shelter!
went for my dental appointment early in the morning. a piece of good news is, in another 3-4 visits my braces could be removed. *happy*.
anyway i realise i miss shopping in day time of weekdays! cos shopping malls are just so empty and free to walk around. unlike the crowded weekends.. really turn off my shopping mood.

a very sweet love song. explaining wat love is? doing everything, trust, sense of security, giving without expected returns, seeing the other party more impt than urself...?

梁静茹《暖暖》

都可以随便的
你说的我都愿意去
小火车摆动的旋律

都可以是真的
你说的我都会相信
因为我完全信任你

细腻的喜欢
毛毯般的厚重感
晒过太阳熟悉的安全感

分享热汤我们两支汤匙一个碗
左心房暖暖的好饱满

我想说其实你很好
你自己却不知道
真心的对我好
不要求回报

爱一个人希望他过更好
打从心里暖暖的
你比自己更重要

都可以随便的
你说的我都愿意去
回忆里满足的旋律
都可以是真的
你说的我都会相信
因为我完全信任你

细腻的喜欢
你手掌的厚实感
什么困难都觉得有希望
我哼着歌你自然的就接下一段
我知道暖暖就在胸膛

我想说其实你很好
你自己却不知道
从来都很低调
自信心不高

你比自己更重要

我也希望变更好

brain so filled with good n bad memories. happy/sweet moments=) and sad/hurting moments =(

7:15 PM

in my dear santi's blog i saw the following :
"So….people tend to ask what love is. but now…I am asking. What frenship is? "

and i suddenly wonder too, why does people question about love but not friendship?this is cos friendship dont give us trouble (most of the time) like love do?friends are always there for you. they might not be physically there, and we might not always meet up. but in our heart we all know, they will be the ones supporting you when u need them, giving you they precious opinions, advises and care. some friends come and go, some will stay forever in your life. from secondary school, to jc and to SIM.. i haf met wonderful people, wonderful frens. i dare to say out loud, MY FRENS ARE SIMPLY WONDERFUL~!

was out studying with fiona ytd. studied quite abit, n chatted quite abit also.=). out studying with different people these days, n chatting with different people these days, i haf see how different people see relationship differently, and the different 'requirements' in a relationship. n i haf realised abt the changes in my thinking towards certain things too. my dear fion n i have the same mindset, n we concluded that must be we old liao!haha!

- "fishes are swimming around?' -

from liz:
when u love someone, naturally u'd wanna "give". u wud be less calculative. cuz at e end of e day, e person's smile and happiness is all that u're asking for. whether or not she'll reciprocate or appreciate is another thing altogether.

n again.this is so true. but i really pity those one-sided love.

Best friends can never be lovers. but lovers will become best friends.

words doesnt count. only when it comes from your heart, then the other party will feel it.

* HAPPY BDAE CHUN HONG!

8:53 PM

i'm feeling SOO dead now.its like my head gona explode anytime... tire and cant focus on things, the surroundings seems to be spinning. is it cos i didnt sleep well for the past 2 nights? or are they symptoms of falling sick? i think i better adjust my sleeping time soon. cant afford to fall sick during this mugging period!

so up early in the morn today for pbf lecture. so lucky, got miss koh again! she is a MUCH better lecturer. after lecture met diana at pasir ris to study again. collected some mock exam papers today. its not the results i will want.. but with the amount of time i put in for studying mock exam, its right for me to get those marks ba. just got to study harder. anyway THREE different people who attended uol econs revision class said that econs paper is gone casE! amos ( the lecturer) said tt 98% of the people fail the mock exam. i doubt i will be the lucky 2%.haha! requirements for amos is different from wat we know i guess. . wont know till i haf my class with him nxt week.i m so so worried for econs!

i finally remember who i got the song say goodbye from! its diana!hahaaa..

so according to all my dearie friends,

love is about giving, receiving and sharing.
love is about giving without expecting any returns. =)

i dun wana care...

1:17 AM

gave myself a day off from studying today. met jay for movie. watched shooter..well the show feels like a game of CS to me. the shooting skills in that show is really cool! headed to queensway to buy some things after that. dear bought this size 3 pink nike bball, its such a pretty n cute ball! headed home aft makan....n i always enjoy the last few moments of the day chatting with you~ (=

had wanted to do some exercise tmr. but have to be cancelled cos i shld n need to go to my granny's,no i mean aunty's house. most prob will be there for the day or even through the night. shall see how thing goes.

sad. still feeling stress as usual. with tonnes to studies to be done. haizz..

There are time it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart but I don't show it , show it
Then there's times you look at me
As though I'm all that you could see
Those times I don't belive it's right I know it , know

Cuz I want it all
Or nothing at all

everyone wish 'to be loved by someone' instead of 'loving someone'.
cos 被爱是幸福的。
everyone wants to take, but who will give?

but i dun think this is what love is all about.

anyway I CONCLUDED that guys will give n gers will take. yes!

love me no more!haha!

11:56 PM

a photo was found in my granny's wallet and passed to me today. was told that she kept it aft she stopped taking care of me aft i enter secondary school. hearing this makes me even sadder. yesterday was the last day we get to see her. to me, it looks like she is just sleeping, just like how she used to sleep beside me - the exact expression ,n she could be up anytime talking to me. i still cant believe she is gone. my mind is filled with memories of her, of how she taken so good care of me.how i hope the funeral is a few days more, so that her body is with us longer.
i miss prawn mee suddenly, tts always my reward from her when i score for my spelling.

slpt really early last night.at 10pm!never so early b4..never really have a good rest for a few days. only slpt for an hr plus on sat nite, n luckily managed to stay awake on sunday to send her off n settle many other things. it was drizzling when we sent her.. wonder its a good or bad thing. tmr is her 7th day of death, she is suppose to be 'back'. i so much wanted to see her, but i am scared too. do appear in my dream granny.

my uncle can 'see' ghost, some things heard these days are really errie. that day during the ritual, we were even shown by the priest the footprints of my granny.many times i wonder if such things are true,but it seems so real. . aunt was blaming herself today. she said she shouldnt haf send granny to hospital since she dun want to.its qing ming, spirits in the hospital are alot, n thus they 'pull' my granny away. how sad. or at least if granny was at home, she would be happier dying at home than hospital, but its really not her fault.granny case was suppose to be hospitalise i thk.its not her fault,no one knows she will be gone so fast. no one knows.if i did , i would have gone down to see her when she last called n talked to me..........i shld have. hai.. shall say no more

for now.. there is still one more family matter unsettled. pray hard for me, that my persuding power is strong. cos i dun wan to lose anyone again.

anyway thanks to all for ur tag,sms n concern. i truely appreciate it. for now.. i gona get bck to study. mug real hard. never study for a few days le...vex n stressss